(Originally Feb23rd 2025/FI)

It’s been a tough week, but after the weekend I’ll be very happy about it! During the week at work, there was a lot of confusing shuttling from one problem to another, and at the same time there was a concern about my daughter’s affairs. How does a girl get things done for new career planning related to becoming independent, does she ask for help if things get difficult and am I available at the right time. It felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day for duties, not to mention hobbies. It felt like it was really time to go to sleep again…

Even though I should rest on the weekend, that doesn’t usually mean staying still for me. Fortunately, I got a good night’s sleep before Friday, because I wanted to do something right away and make the days off feel longer! On Thursday, I got excited when I saw one of my friends offering tickets on social media, so I suggested to my partner a slightly different concert, a cappella singing at Korjaamo, Helsinki. I basically wanted just the car trip, when I didn’t find out more about the musical style direction of the band (Club for Five). All I had in mind was a nice little trip and some musical experience. Yes, it was an experience… still not quite my thing, so it didn’t make it to my spotify lists! In the end, this stray shot turned out to be almost as fun a relationship experience as our previous Italian trip to the atmospheric little village of Topeno in Janakkala, Finland! The gig night was followed by an peaceful Saturday, a nice movie in the uptown and finally a nice relaxing evening at home! Sunday can still include course plans, a blog and some sports stuff!

My alcohol-free and more active period has now lasted 52 days and at the same time, a couple of general therapy sessions will come to an end. I don’t feel like I need psychotherapy at all. It was useful for awakening and understanding my overall situation or discovering something new about a certain theme such as the effects of alcohol, goals or relationships with the closest people. I don’t go to professional meetings regularly, but apparently every few years. But it’s funny how always at the beginning of new therapies I somehow expect that now I will get help from the outside again and that I really need this… however, I always realize that everything always depends on my own choices and no one else can do it. The information doesn’t help if I choose wrongly. Perhaps this decisive withdrawal from therapy is because I am not physically addicted to anything and I do not need medication or withdrawal from anything. I already know the connections of my mental challenges quite well. However, I will continue the ADHD investigation I mentioned some time earlier, and of course work, relationships, alcohol and everything else will be connected to that in practice.

It is liberating and relaxing to repeat the idea that everything is in your hands. It brings confidence and peace. I have the freedom to take time to be alone at home if I want, arrange things with the children as much as I can or settle for the rhythm of the children’s week. To be in a close relationship, to drive to my partner whenever I feel the slightest bit like it or when I am needed. The freedom to regulate the relationship between work and free time, i.e. to work from nine to five or early in the morning, evening or on the weekend. Play any sport or forget about exercise for a couple of weeks. Suggest a coffee or call several friends. These are not guaranteed freedoms and options, but privileges that I want to be able to enjoy more.

I haven’t agreed with myself on my relation to alcohol in the long run yet. The final wisdom may not be the goal. I haven’t had a single temptation to go to the bar during the entire beginning of the year. That is why it has felt unnecessary to fill a diary related to that topic. Every time the first question has been related to some means of survival and analyzes of temptation situations. Just in case, I have already created six rules related to alcohol consumption.

Many have figured this out before me, but I’ll say it anyway. Nothing is a more effective motivator for ending something than self-interest. Yes, a model of profitability calculation is built into every person, on the emotional side or partially subconsciously. I guess it’s essential for evolution and the survival of the species that humans make choices that benefit them. Feelings towards loved ones and important ones create the necessary selflessness. The counterforce and distractions are the temptations that tempt to quick pleasures, which are in conflict with a good future in the longer term.

In the past, my number one driver for cutting down on alcohol was always sports. Conversely, the hiatus of good sports episodes has eventually led to an increase in bar nights, when the “only” good reason has gone away. Of course, sports and getting in good shape is not a lasting reason or a key benefit of sobriety, and it is no longer the most important motivator for me. Constantly maintaining a healthy good self-confidence level is many times more important. It feels so good mentally that there is no reason to return to old habits, but there is no temptation on the emotional side either.

And is it wrong if helping or listening to others makes you feel good? Good type of selfishness… I think it’s also more of a sign of your own activation or rediscovering your values. I don’t feel like I’m pretending at all when I ask more from children, partners or friends how they are feeling and if everything is allright. Friends, so don’t get hurt. I might actually be interested.