(Originally Feb15th 2025/FI)

“How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?” Blog posts have these dailyprompts, and I bumped into this!

I think only responsibility has taught me to take responsibility. Growing up as teenagers and partly adults has made me understand that these years at home with our children will eventually end and their future will shape up and remain. My thoughts inevitably gradually turn to what my importance and role can be for them later and what their irreplaceable significance is to me. Their own views and experiences become drivers for them and they form their own dreams. At the same time, it is somehow relieving to notice that those views and opinions are more independent and they don’t have to come in the form of life instructions only from us parents. In a way, it eases the pressures of parenthood, although at the same time the worries have become many times greater as the children push themselves towards adulthood.

The everyday question “What would we do together” turns into a hundred times bigger “What are we together” reflection in my head. In these terrifying moments of uncertainty of my parenthood, people close to me who are important have told me that you don’t need to do miracles, just be yourself and that’s it. That’s enough. And I know that’s true. It still doesn’t always feel like I’m enough or know how to ask, listen or put myself in someone else’s shoes. Going at a fast pace is ridiculously easy, but stopping and doing enough without doing anything is where I think there’s much more to learn and strive for.

I’m just getting to the point of stopping and this is my big goal for this year. I’ve always kept myself busy, whether it was work, my own hobby, an activity with the kids, a weekend plan with my partner or updating social media. All the way to the point where eating, sleeping or the balance of everyday life has collapsed and the rush turned into paralysis and suddenly lying in bed. This will be my biggest milestone, insight, and hopefully also the source of my own happiness. To sometimes experience that feeling of peace that comes from not thinking ahead, making plans, thinking about norms, but making the most of the moment for my loved ones and myself.

I haven’t faced any major health concerns that have stopped me yet, but I’ve learned a little bit that nothing about my health is permanent. Even a small problem, like the current back pain, makes me think about what I’ve experienced. How great it was to play competitive volleyball when I was young, do jumping exercises on the fitness track, or battle hard in hockey rink. Maybe I’m not completely done yet, so maybe I’ll still get to try jumping. Or some new sport again. The next time I go for a walk and it goes without pain, I’ll capture that moment!